Practicing with Emotions
In mindfulness practice we learn to be mindful, present to the entire range of our experience. We’ve talked about being present to the everyday activities of our daily life, and to our own bodies and physical sensations. We can also apply mindfulness to our emotions. With mindfulness of emotions we learn to see and experience our feelings more directly and clearly.
No emotion is inappropriate within the field of mindfulness practice. We are not trying to avoid emotions, or to have some kinds of emotions and not others. With mindfulness we are allowing emotions to exist as they arise, without the additional complications of judgment, preferences, aversion, desires, clinging, resistance or other reactions. Can we simply leave an emotion alone?
Once we see our emotions more clearly and with stability, we can begin to have insights as to the causes of disturbing emotions, and to hold the emotions in our mindfulness, without repressing or reacting. Over time, this practice will help diminish the frequency and duration of negative emotions and help us act on them more skillfully.
Practicing with Emotions
Generally, during meditation, keep yourself centered on the breath. If there are emotions in the background, leave them there. When an emotion becomes compelling enough to make it difficult to stay with the breath, then bring it into the focus of meditative awareness.
There are several aspects to the mindfulness of emotions. You don't have to practice all of them each time you focus on an emotion. At different times, each is appropriate. Experiment to see how each can help in developing a non-reactive attention to emotions.
Recognition: A steady and relaxed labeling of the emotion can help with recognition and help keep our attention on the emotion, e.g., "joy," "anger," "frustration," "happiness", "boredom," "contentment,” "desire”. Naming can also help us become calm and less entangled with the emotion, less identified with it or reactive to its presence.
Acceptance: This does not mean condoning or justifying certain feelings. It means simply allowing emotions to be present, whatever they may be. Many people frequently judge and censure their feelings. Formal meditation practice offers us the opportunity to practice unconditional acceptance of our emotions. We can welcome our emotions as old friends.
Calming: As we learn to just be with our emotion very directly we can use phrases that help diminish the energy of the emotion. We state very directly that we know how to take care of the emotion, that we calm the energy of the emotion, that we release the tension of the emotion, that we know it will pass.
Investigation/looking deeply: This entails dropping any fixed ideas we have about an emotion and looking at it afresh. Investigation is not analysis, but more an awareness exercise of feeling our way into the present moment experience of the emotions. As we do this we can begin to look deeply into and bring into awareness the roots of our emotional patterns that have come from a 2 lifetime of experiences and conditioning. Seeing more clearly the roots of our emotional reactions can bring a greater freedom in how we experience and act upon our emotions.
Or use the RAIN acronym: Recognize; Allow (Accept); Investigate; Natural awareness and Nonidentification
Phrases and Verses for Recognizing, Accepting and Calming Emotions
Use these phrases as a starting point. Work with them and find the specific wording that resonates with you and works for you.
Ah, here you are my old friend, anger (or fear, or jealousy or sadness).
I know you well.
I welcome you.
I see you my old friend fear (anger, sadness, jealousy).
I know you well.
I am here for you.
I will take care of you.
Breathing, I recognize my anger.
Breathing out, I calm my anger, I release my anger.
Breathing in I feel the energy of anger.
Breathing out, I release this anger.
Breathing in, I see myself as a mountain.
Breathing out, I feel solid and stable.
Breathing in, I see myself as clear sky.
Breathing out, I feel spacious and free.
Breathing in, I see myself as still water.
Breathing out, I feel calm and peaceful.