Tonglen Practice

Imagine someone who is suffering in some way is sitting in front of you. It is said you should begin with yourself and then you can move on to loved ones, then people you are indifferent to, and finally to people you have difficulty with. You might notice that if you have strong emotions around someone whom you have difficulty with, beginning the practice with your own suffering first is essential before doing tonglen for the other.

Reflect on the person’s suffering and the causes of their suffering. If helpful, you can also imagine yourself in their shoes to better understand their suffering. Cultivate the wish that they be free of their suffering.

Then imagine that all the person’s suffering collects into a black, smoky substance. Imagine that because of your desire to free this person of their suffering, you willingly breathe it in in the form of this black, smoky substance.

Next, imagine that covering your heart is a hard, black tar-like mass which represents all of your self-cherishing and ego-clinging tendencies. As you breathe in their suffering, because of your willingness to take on another’s suffering, your ego-clinging diminishes. To visualize this, you imagine that as you breath in their suffering as the black, smoky substance, it touches the black substance around your heart representing ego-clinging, and both substances dissipate. As they dissipate, a light from your true, open, selfless heart shines forth.

This light is composed of whatever antidote that the person needs to eliminate their suffering. For example, someone who is angry may need calming or patience, someone who is sad may need joy, someone worried may need confidence or a sense of ease, someone with a physical ailment may need health or strength, etc. You willingly give all of whatever antidote is needed to them, not needing to keep it for yourself. When the light shines on the other person, you notice that the black substance around them begins to dissipate as well. As this happens, they begin to suffer less.

You continue in this fashion, taking in the suffering of the person in front of you and sending back the antidote until your ego-clinging and their suffering have both completely dissipated. To visualize this, you continue breathing in their black, smoky substance which continues to dissipate the black, tar-like mass around your heart and send back the light which continues to dissipate the black, smoky substance around them, until finally both black substances have completely dissipated, and you are both full of light.

At his point you visualize that the person in front of you is at peace and completely free of suffering, while you are completely free of any ego-centricity and your heart is completely open, selfless, and spacious. Then you just rest in this feeling.

Once this process has been completed and you have rested in that space, you can also reflect on the fact that beings all over the world are suffering in the same way that this person in front of you has suffered. You cultivate a willingness to take on the suffering of all beings suffering in this way in order to free them of that suffering. You can then use the same visualization as before, but imagine the black smoke you breath in is coming from all the beings’ suffering, and that the light goes out to all those beings as well. At the end of the process, you imagine that all beings are smiling and free of this suffering, that you are once again free of ego-centricity, and you rest there.